Back from his vacation we offer up again BPR's guest writer, Justin Couture. We warn you that his recaps contain more than your minimum daily requirement for snark!
Episode 6 or 'Dressed for Stress'
It's a new day at the Atlas and while Michael grooms his already perfection self, I realize that he not only was actually in last week's episode, he WON IT WHILE I WAS AWAY. Newly motivated, he and Robert, wearing manpris, leave their apartment. We hear Vincent ramble on about Bradley and his 401K and In-no-va-tion; I think I might have blacked out a little from his voice because I wake up in a pool of my caramel macchiato feeling strangely refreshed. Alison shows Uli her nearly-empty anti-stress lotion and I really want to know the brand so that I can dash to Sephora and purchase it because I(!) FEEL(!) STRESS! Sorry. But, the lotion isn't sponsored so I'm out of luck. The ladies leave for Parsons ready for a new challenge and I switch to a potentially less stressing pomegranate chai.
At Parsons Heidi walks out in a WTF outfit and I drop my chai because Guy Macy managed once again to dress her in serious head-to-toe fug. Michael not-surprisingly keeps Nazri, who it seems can actually smile(!) and Katie is out. Then Heidi tells them that they've been having it easy lately and for a moment I fear that Guy Macy will step out to dress the remaining designers as the rest of Fleetwood Mac to go along with her homage to Rhiannon (thanks, Project Rungay for that reference). Michael says to the camera that they haven't been easy and Alison says she feels like she's been working for months. Then Robert mentions absurd stress and I want that lotion and my spilled chai and maybe a mani/pedi/massage. Then she tells them that Tim will show them how tough it's going to get tomorrow.
The next morning at the Atlas Tim knocks on the doors of the designers way too early to tell them to get ready and to have no open-toed shoes. When Tim tells this to Vincent for some reason I was imaging Kayne wearing some sort of peek-a-boo slingbacks. Don't ask why. We see scenes of them getting ready including some bad imagery of Vincent's love-handles which causes me more stress. Alison tells Laura "it's a good thing you're wearing your riding outfit in case it's horses" and I find myself a little disappointed in seeing Laura in the same-old breeches/Hermes boots combo. She should have mixed it up with some jodphurs paired with hunt boots because you know she has them.
They get in the van and next thing you know they are in Jersey. While Laura tells us that this part of New Jersey looks bad, Alison mentions humming the theme from the Sopranos and once again I'm back to having theme envy. They pull up at some sort of loading dock and I've a fantasy going on in which they give a group of wayward longshoremen makeovers. But instead this door opens to my worst nightmare ... mountains of trash so I think maybe they are in the home of some obsessive compulsive person that can't throw away a lifetime of TV Guides. Robert doesn't want to work with trash and already I'm worried that the kooky hat potential for Vincent has just gone way up.
Tim, looking strangely hot in a vivid yellow hard hat (I'm kind of getting a Village People vibe from him), tells the designers that they are going to 'source' recycled materials for a garment. After a short speech about garbage (which was the perfect opportunity to refresh my chai so I heard none of it), Tim tells them they have 30 minutes to shove stuff into containers. Michael says that they have to 'think outside the box' so I'm hopeful that Angela won't be sending a frock fashioned out of Lean Cuisine containers with signature rosettes down the runway.
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